Last weekend, Adam and I had a rare chance to sleep in while two of our three kids were with grandma. But, we didn’t do it.
I know, I know. What, you ask, could be better than rest on a cloudy Saturday morning, especially when your 9-month-old also agreeably sleeps in? Namaste Yoga. Yes, you read that right.
It wasn’t my idea, and since there were only two of us who could voice how we wanted to spend the morning, you can draw your own conclusions on who led us to the mats. I was highly skeptical that we’d get any sort of workout from this early morning class.
By the third pose, I was ready to leave. Nothing against yoga or our zen-like instructor whose perfect little curves were proof enough of the value of this workout. It’s just that I could hear the Latin grooves through the wall from my favorite Zumba class which was happening in the studio next door, and I found myself wanting to make a quick escape to my regular workout. Beneath my yoga mat, I could feel the pulsating beat. Carefree salsa trumpets were fighting with the singular oboe whose solemn song floated through the air of my studio. The trumpets were winning. I was ready to move, and even more ready to sweat.
I gave my hubby the sign that we should roll up our mats and save this experience for another day, but he didn’t move. I let out a little giggle as we turned onto our heads for the next pose; he didn’t bite. Adam was fully committed to this workout. So, I decided to try to come along.
Over an hour later, we were finally done. The truth is, it really wasn’t that bad, and some of my muscles later informed me that it was, in fact, a pretty good workout. So, what made sticking it out so tough?
The problem, a trusted advisor recently told me, is with my energy. I move through life at a pretty good clip, and I find it pretty tough to slow down. That is why I’d rather Cha-cha-cha than Downward Dog. I’m not very comfortable sitting still.
But, on this particular day, God spoke to my heart through my experience with yoga about the importance of solitude.
For me, solitude is hard work. For most of us, being alone with our thoughts and practicing the discipline of being still is harder than it looks.Why?
In this world, we are rewarded for production. Big bucks go to people who can churn out the most product, and kudos are reserved for the truly efficient workers. In the same way, I’m finding that subconsciously I’m almost always looking for a way to produce something from my interaction with God – a teaching, an illustration, something I can use. It’s painful to admit, but it’s true.
The problem is, most of the real work needs to be done in me rather than through me. Only by letting go of my desire to produce and calming the energy that wants to go, go, go, can I receive the blessing of solitude.
Lord, help me to be more concerned about what you will do in me than what you will do through me today.
