The Ultimate Test of Faith October 30, 2008

This week, I’ve had some health challenges with pregnancy. I’m awaiting results of labwork, which is dragging on through the weekend. I’ve tried hard to hang with all the medical code-words and partially said (partially unsaid) concerns, but on Wednesday, I decided to sit face to face with a doctor to talk through my questions and try to get some answers. As I waited in the exam room for nearly an hour, I turned to Psalm 27, and then I prayed.

God spoke in a very real way to me in that sterile, cold room. His words? “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 filled my head and then my heart, and I knew that this was the answer to my prayer. At that point, I guess, I embarked on the ultimate test of faith.

The way I see it, It would be easy to take action, or at minimum, set a plan of action that I would take based on the outcome of the latest bloodwork. It would be easy to sit for hours perusing medical journals, in an effort to outsmart the smartest doctors in this fine state of Virginia. It would be easy to be overcome with a tidal wave of worry. But here’s what is hard. God’s request of me was to be still, and know that He is God.

It is the ultimate test of faith, because being still requires a level of inaction that I’m not altogether comfortable with. The Hebrew for “Be still” translates “hang limp, sink down, be feeble, leave alone, abandon, withdraw; to show oneself slack.” See, I’m not really a slacker. That’s not my MO. And when God tells me to hang limp in this situation and show myself slack, well – those are hard words to hear. I’d rather build a great defense and show myself strong. But that is not what He asked me to do.

The second part of the verse helps a bit. Again, I looked to the original Hebrew for more context. “Know that I am God” seems to be all about understanding and recognizing the great power of our God. He is mighty to save. The focus of the Hebrew word (translated for us as God) is on His power and majesty. It was a lot to chew on while I waited…kind of like eating an elephant.

In the end, the doctor did come to answer my questions. Her advice? Focus on things you can control.

So, I guess she agrees with God on this one. Time to abandon my fears and trust in the power of the All-Powerful One, the only One who can impact the oucome of this situation anyway. And that, my friends, is the ultimate test of faith for any one of us.

Unplugged October 12, 2008

This weekend, I’m nestled away in the woods in a lodge that would respectfully take the center spot on a greeting card. And, I am pretty sure I’m a junkie. I guess I’ve been in denial.

For the first time in a long time, I’m totally unplugged. No internet. No facebook. Upon arrival at this semi-deserted place, my phone made suspect noises the first three hours, as it attempted to receive text messages…to no avail. I turned it off totally; the failed attempts to connect were all the more annoying. Even as I’ve turned to blogging, I must type this into a Word document to later cut and paste into WordPress.

Ahh, technology. When did I come to love you so?

I didn’t think I was so tied to technology. I don’t twitter. Not yet, anyway. I’ve turned down three social networking sites in the last two weeks. And on Sunday mornings, when the verse appears on the big screen, I still flip through my Bible to look it up. I roll my eyes at my husband, who is the ultimate technology hipster, using an online Bible application on his iPhone.

Recently, I sat behind a woman in a worship service who intently banged out text messages on her phone throughout the message. I found her annoying. Then, I was introduced and learned she was a high ranking woman at a Christian university. Perhaps her work just couldn’t wait, I reasoned.

Now I’m asking myself – can my work wait? I want to head into town (20 minutes of backroads) under the guise of a Starbucks. It’s really not a syrupy sweet coffee I need; I’m after their Wi-Fi. I want to reconnect with the world. I am telling myself no.

So, for the past hour, I’ve been wrestling with all of this, and wondering to myself if my future Sabaath observation should be less about “doing no work” and more about taking a break from technology to reconnect with a God who made the original world, the garden of Eden, to be unplugged. What do you think?