Living the Dream August 27, 2008

I didn’t venture far for college – only about 120 miles from home. A scenic drive took me through winding roads up and over the mountains of Virginia. It was harder on Rhonda, my ’86 Honda – she sputtered and spurred along the highway. At the halfway point was Afton Mountain. Complete with two spectacular lookouts, it was the steepest mountain between me and home. At the base of Afton, lights blink when the fog is dense, signaling drivers to beware. Some evenings, I could see only a short distance ahead.

Somehow it seems I’ve climbed and descended my own Afton since graduating. The lights are blinking; I am just now emerging from the fog. For so much of the last twelve years, I’ve been consumed in a dream. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still dreaming. Recently, though, I got some divine direction. My soul is tired of sleeping. I’m restless. It is time to begin. Now it is time to start living the dream.

For a long time, I’ve been stymied. Although I felt sure my dreams were God-given, I couldn’t see a way to make them reality. I realize now that I’ve spent a decade in the how, instead of working on the what and leaving the how to God. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about Joseph.

God spoke to Joseph through his dreams. Remember when Joseph dreamed that his brothers were bowing down to him? Twice?? What a vision. But if Joseph got tied up in the seemingly implausible how of this dream, we surely don’t read about it. Infact, the how became even more difficult when he was sold into slavery by the very brothers that he dreamed were bowing to him. But, Joseph didn’t let go of the vision. And God didn’t let go of Joseph. Ge 39:2 “The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered…”

So, I take heart. Although I sometimes seem to be moving away from my dream instead of towards it, God hasn’t let go of me. I’m realizing dreams call for action on our part. Like Joseph, we’ve got to keep living, all the while clinging to that which God has called us.

Now more than ever, I want to fulfill the desires God has placed in my heart – desires to minister for Him. As I emerge from the fog, my vision is clearer. Too many abandon their dreams because they can’t see past the how. I know now that I need just two things – relentless pursuit of the dream and a good dose of faith. I’m to be about the what, and God’s got the how. So, I say it’s high time to start living the dream.

Out of Time August 24, 2008

My dad used to say he was “running on fumes.” These days, I understand how he must have been feeling.

I’ve been challenged recently by the widow who provided for Elijah when he was called to a Gentile city. It’s such an interesting story. Here is my cliff notes version (the real deal is in 1 Kings 17): Elijah is called to a place where there is a drought. God tells him to find a certain widow, whom He has commanded to provide food for Elijah. Elijah goes to the widow, who has only enough oil and flour to make one last cake of bread for herself and her son. Once they eat it, they will die, she tells Elijah. Elijah then asks her to use the last of her flour and oil to make a meal for him – and that if she does, she will not run out of flour and oil! Amazingly, she does just what he has asked, and she and her son are fed until the rains come and there is once again a supply of food for all.

So, I’m thinking about this widow, and feeling pretty tapped out. Just to clarify for those of you who may be literal readers, I’m not on my last meal. I am, however, on empty in other areas. Recently my plate got very full: my husband returned to school in the evenings for his MBA and I launched a new ministry, in addition to becoming pregnant with baby three (with a two-year-old and four-year-old at home). When asked to do anything these days, my new catch phrase says it all, “I’m sorry; I’m just time poor.”

Time is my flour and oil, and I’ve got just enough to make it through one more day. Invariably, those are the days when someone comes calling and turns my quest for any sort of a balanced life upside down.

It could be a friend who needs a listening ear, or a new mom who needs help with a meal. It could be a neighbor who needs someone to watch their child. Or, it could be one of my own…a toddler who needs to be held for a little longer than usual as she cuts a big molar tooth, or a preschooler who wants mom to rebuild train tracks for his good friend Thomas, and then play Percy for a while.

But I have things to do! I’ve already spent that flour and oil. My supply has run very low. How can I give anything to the well-meaning and much-needing?

And, that’s where the widow comes in. She leaps off of the Bible page and starts teaching me. Instead of evaluating her resources in light of her own situation, she considered God’s greater plan. Remarkable, as she and her son face starvation if God doesn’t, in turn, provide food for them. Even more remarkable as she lives in the middle of a bunch of Baal-worshippers! Where does she get such a great faith?

Most days, I need more faith. It is easy to get into a production mindset, where analytical thinking defines my daily experience. I have only so many hours and a certain amount of resources. If I spend non-replenishable resources like time and money on someone else, what on earth will happen to me?

And yet, the flour and oil were non-replenishable to the widow. So if she can choose to feed Elijah, can’t I spend what was never mine to begin with, trusting the God who gave both time and money to me to replenish them as needed?

I’m challenged, alright. After considering the widow who fed Elijah, I think my challenge is more about faith than time, more about obedience than the ever-elusive balance. What about you?